Ice cream cone #91

• It's funny how every time I run into something that I need to blog about, I think about it too much, to the point where I forget where I began. That's why when I try to write on days like that, I usually don't even know where to start.
• I'm really scared thinking about the future, about the things that are going to knock me down. There are days when that motto "the best days of your life haven't happened yet" doesn't have the strength to hold me up anymore. These couple of days definitely haven't been that best days that I was expecting last week. 
• Honestly I was astonished at how heavily the news did its impact on me. I just simply thought, oh well, it's over by now, I can pride myself on saying that emotionally, I've been well. But I guess sooner or later, I'll find out about the bottom of this. Contrary to what lots of people want me to do, which is to sit down and confront that person to confirm if it's all true, the more I hear about it, the more I want to keep myself away, the farther the possible to that character. I don't want to have anything at all to do with it anymore, I just wanna keep all of the toxic people out of my life. 
• It's hard though, to say the least, thinking back about all those time and then convince myself that it's all just a lie terribly told in exchange for some cheap opportunity that don't even mean anything by now. When I said about how someone should paint one of the milestones red in my relationship so that I could be alarmed about how rotten it was, they should paint it on the first milestone. It's a fucked up relationship in the first place. 
• I'm in no position to think any good about this person. I feel like everything, including the gifts, the text messages, the phone calls, the sorry notes, anything that makes me sick to the guts to name are just a bunch of stinking dog shit that was thrown at me. I had every intention to burn all of the gifts first thing when I got home, but then I thought, shoes are not guilty, and some homeless girl out there could have them, not knowing that they were bought by a shit-faced character as bribing gift. I have this vision if I sit down and ask if all of this were true, every word that I'd receive would be another pile of lies. I have to thank it though. Thank you for making me realize how actually terrible a person can be, and how after so many devious attempts to take advantage of others, they're still a ginormous loser. 
• I'm gonna get through this, in one way or another. Maybe after some watches of Perks of being a Wallflower and some pieces of makeups. I'm gonna be okay at last, but I guess some nights you don't go to sleep with happy thoughts :)

Ice cream cone #90: a weird day

• When I started out this yogurt cup/ice cream cone thing I thought numbering the posts would be a good idea, as I can keep track of where my thoughts flow and how they gradually change as the numbers go bigger. And that was pretty much how it works. I think the yogurt cups are the most accurate scale of how I became such a person, as I don't write them that often, cause I always feel like being at a loss for what to say each time I do two of them in a short time.
• I always had this notion in my head is that, what would I react if I saw myself in the future. Would I hate my future self for being too old and unnecessarily mature, or would I find myself such a badass? 5 years from now I might not have time to write blog anymore (although I sincerely hope that I will), have a job, have a closetful of working clothes and a counter full of makeups. I might start to worry about premature wrinkles, or how much sugar my boyfriend (presumably that I'd have a boyfriend by then) consumes everyday and such and such. I might just be anybody but myself at that moment. Normally I'd find that thought exciting as I love changes, and I'm trying very hard to be positive about the future, but right now the thought scares me, I'm going to turn into someone I don't even know.
• Reading back the yogurt cups I just realized how immature I was back then, with all of the things that happened in my relationship and last summer and my 19th birthday. You simply can't write the same after such stuff. That also makes me wonder what will happen next, and how drastic will my writing change because of these ongoing things. 
• This post is by far full of confusion haha. 
• I'm lining up some ideas for the photo-blog so that I won't get brainwashed during sleep and forget everything tomorrow: repost unpublished Hanoi photos, repost unpublished Flower Street photos and post the new rooftop shoot. Three upcoming posts so far, hmmm soooo exciting!
• Another idea is that I'll take photos of all of my favorite things in summer and put them in a post. Like, sweets, places, smells, colors, music and stuff. I'm starting to feel like the photo-blog is leaning on the personal side again and I'm doing it for my own pleasure. Oh well, if that's the case then I guess I just had another source of inspiration.
• So, briefly about today, I ran into 2,5 at the Cakes & Ale bakery, while I was sitting with Camellia talking about how she saw her crush going to the movies with (yet) another girl looking all intimate and stuff. I was talking too, about how I'm preparing myself mentally for that summer breakdown that I know somehow I will have. 
• I should've realized how fucked up this relationship with him a long time ago, probably from last summer, and should've had the strength to break it off and save myself that lot of time. Now thinking back at all of the milestones of the relationship, they would've painted a milestone red about 10 or 12 miles before the end, but I guess I was scared, and weak, and didn't know myself that well back then to realize the warning. But well, you learn something new everyday.
• As much as I hate to admit it, because it makes me sound like a terrible friend, I don't like being upset for too  long. People who think too much, are subjective and have a tendency towards literature often enjoy the trauma, according to my observance. It serves as an inspiration to them, just the same as my tragic little stories give me material to write a long blog post every now and always. But in all honesty, although they probably don't feel like it, I don't like to emotionally torture myself that way. But the reason why I always wind up being in the same situation as them is because: I get bored too easily. When life is peaceful again and all of my friends are nice and I'm enjoying this single life, I get bored, that's why I have to go on and find myself a drama. And what drama could be faster and more explosive than a guy? So in summary, I literally scatter my emotions and actions around just for the mere reason of boredom, and hell do the karma come back.
• I just really hope this new Lana Del Rey record is good enough to get me through 3 months of summer.

Another good one. People read Chicken Soup, I read this.

"
You are stronger than you realize.
You are more cruel than you realize.
The smallest words will break your heart.
You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
Never stop yourself from texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9:30 a.m., tell them again.
Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
You will be scared of all kinds of things— of spiders and clowns and eating alone— but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes, someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners, but still fill a bed.
Always be friends with broken people. They know how to survive.
You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
You will be okay.
You will be okay.
"

Ice cream cone #88: the eventful weekend

• I got sick this weekend, that was the main event. I have to be straight from the start because I'm afraid as I go into details about how many rolls of toilet paper I've used and how I was literally dead sleepy the other night after drinking that cold pill some of you who have high expectations and think that I actually did something eventful might get disappointed.
• But really, as I was fucking tired all weekend, and this Monday was also Camellia's 21st birthday, I overcame my sickness and intervened myself in a bunch of useless activities and found out about some things about my grade that I wasn't supposed to know anyways.
• So basically I stopped caring about whether I got the scholarship for about a year now, because last year I wasn't very successful with the Vietnamese subjects, which I believe none of the students were content with either, so I assumed why care. But this year I only have German, and I didn't do so much of a bad job at the tests so I thought, let's just break the rule and check out the required grade to get a scholarship. My grade this year is 8,00, and guess how much the required grade is? 8,03. Beautiful isn't it. Should never have looked it up.
• So basically when you're sick, you get bored, annoyed and angry at basically anything. I got mad at my mom (for the 1000th time) the other day, but thanks to the cold/sleeping pills I had to go to bed early and nothing happened the morning after. In my defence, I don't think anyone behaves well when they're sick, we're allowed to have a day or two when we get fucking mad for no reason at all.
• A couple of things happened today that made me rethink, was it my fault, again. Not mentioning the subject, because it's just worthless information, just the mere things that I did, were they wrong? But then as I was sitting on the bus home today next to a guy who secretly fought me over the piece of drape, I thought, even if it's my fault, would it even be right if I just run after trying to fix it? You've always wanted to be that kid who doesn't give a fuck about anything, and who can leave the fuck giving to everybody else, this is the perfect time.
• The homework is getting more and more, and it's not even fun anymore. 
• I don't even have the need to write down my flirting process with this guy in my class, only now because I feel like the post has happened too quickly and I need to expand by adding more information do I remember that there's a him. Ugh nothing special, very very boring even. I don't have the ability to do something so magical like making a guy like me, or being cute a girly and stuff. Like, I'm the antonym of cute and girly. I wear men's shirts for God's sake. So, whatever, I know it's baddddd and against so many of my moral rules when you're not serious about anything and just doing things out of interest and not out of thorough thoughts, but considering that he doesn't care anyways and I'm trying to find some inspirations back into my university life, I'm gonna keep doing it until it gets too obvious and weird I'm just gonna flash and laugh and leave.
• Jk about the flashing, but I'm gonna do something crazy then leave. Cause he graduates in like a month haha way to choose a target Jennifer.
• So here are photos that resemble summer because I don't know why. Summer feels so nearrrrr already.

Ice cream cone #87: the one when I shared my life to the world

• Hello blog, I'm sleepy again.
• How many traditions have I started on this blog? The always-write-when-you're-sleepy tradition, the yogurt cup, the ice cream cone, the dots, the photos? Such weird stuff.
• So I made a photography blog today, just for the sake of it. I've wanted to make a photography blog for as long as I know it, but could never form what the content was. I think it was either about food, or street style, but both didn't seem to plan so well, as I didn't even make an attempt to make anything happen. But then I logged on to my flickr today and saw that I only had about 80 photos left in my bandwidth, and I still haven't made a visa account yet because I'm lazy, and I'm afraid that I can't control myself with things like Sephora or Forever21 or Drugstore.com or Beauty.com or so or so or so. So I thought to myself, blogspot doesn't make me pay in order to upload more photos, they even pay me back if I upload loads of photos (and of course comes the condition that my blog suddenly becomes popular and get 2 million viewers which always sounds like a joke). And I've already run a blog for more than 6 years, at least I have one or two pieces of experience in hand.
• So I created it, quite no-brainy, and started uploading some of my works on it. My friends seem to like it, which is a really good sign. I'm having actual audience. To anyone who reads this blog, I'm sorry I don't believe that you're humans, but because the counts on this blog also counts the times when I view my blog myself, and I view it a lot, and because my self-esteem is very low I don't actually believe there's anyone who's interested in hearing a girl whining about life for 6 years. So, if you're out there, magically reading these lines, thank you for being my audience when I'm just sitting here writing messy crap that are in my head. I wish you many goodness.
• Alongside with the excitement of having people accepting my works and complimenting on my new template, I shared this blog to a friend as well. I've always wanted to share this one, cause obviously I put a lot of thoughts and works into it as well, and believe it or not, this little corner's been my friend for how many heartbreaks and meltdowns and tantrums ever since I was a freshman in high school. Therefore, every time I share this blog to someone, with a thought that they will spend their time to read it and, if I'm very lucky, make efforts to understand me as well, it literally feels like taking a piece of clothing off in some way. This is way too many thoughts and stuff, cause I only write when my head feels heavy, and when I'm sad.
• As we are already here, and because I don't tend to write a lot very often, let's update a bit about how my life goes, so that I'll have something to look back and be moody about 5 months from now.
• I don't know, I guess I can finally say that I've found myself again. I've been doing quite some independent works, thinking about doodling again, busy with schoolwork and English class and the thought of having to register for a gym asap. After I shared my blog, I sat back and read the posts in June, July and August, and thought to myself, how did I ever get out of those times? But I did, and although as devastated as I was then, I knew there would be a day like this, when I'm emotionally stable, having a little cold because of the weather change, and being able to joke a bit in my blog posts. Jennifer O'Keeffe you've been a strong kid.
• One week until my salary comes. The week of dooooom...
• And yes, the appropriate urge of wanting to go to the bar arises at this very inconvenient moment, despite that, it still got me thinking for about 20 minutes when I was on my bus ride home and when I was walking. But no, Jenny, you can't indulge yourself like this. Stay strong, what would Audrey Hepburn do?

Ice cream cone #81

• No more yogurt cup, I've been writing yogurt cup for somewhat 2 or 3 years now. Time to change. But I might keep changing it until I finally can find something that I really like, cause Ice cream cone sounds a bit too happy for these types of writing.
• Unlike yogurt cups. They're neutral. You could like or not like a yogurt cup. I don't like eating yogurt that badly, I just like the idea of a big paper cup full of soft yogurt, topped with lots and lots of fruit and maybe a glaze of chocolate sauce. Well, on some days, my words are just plain yogurt, on other days, they're topped with something happy. Ice cream cones seem like they always resemble something happy, they're never sad, and everyone seems to like a good big ice cream cone.
• That's it. I'm gonna come up with something more appropriate next time.
• Happy new year. On the first week of new year I burnt my leg pretty badly with the scroller, found out that I passed Linguistics, had to stay at home for two straight days, received two comments about how much I've gained weight (one from a colleague from mom's office, one very long and detailed from mom about which exact part of my body have gained weight and how badly I look now). Yayy to 2014.
• Made me come back to think does it really matter that much? They could adopt if I get too ugly you know. They could've done it when I started that acne phrase in 8th grade. I'm ugly all the time if you didn't notice.
• That grammar nazi guy who'd been annoying me secretly for half a year finally took a hit on me, right when I was not in my best mood. And I reacted, as naturally as I could've, and I was pretty sure he sat back with shock and disgust about the new kind of person he just found out in me. Thinking back about it, it's pretty funny though, cause most of the time people just think I'm this easily trusting and quite dinky girl who talks too much and can be fooled by almost anything. Therefore, she can't react for the sake of it.
• Even my best friend thinks I trust people too much. How is that?
• Yesterday I had this terrible migraine that occasionally sneak up on me when I'm not getting much sleep (which I highly doubt since I finished all of my exams about 5 days ago and indulge myself everyday to a 9-hour sleep, hence the weight gain and the very "constructive" comments above), and had this immediate urge to go to bed, or else I'd throw up or pass out at some point. And no calls.
• It's funny to think, since I make the call everyday, having this need to talk, and then one day I don't, and it doesn't bother anybody in the world, that I have to go to be at 9:30 because this frigging migraine was haunting me, he still lives happily and busily. And then i realized something I should have two thousand years ago: He doesn't care about me at all. Why should I make the call everyday, to someone who doesn't even appreciate the effort or the feelings anyways? It's just sick, and I really don't wanna talk to him about it, cause every time I do, or try to, he'll pull out one of the cards, in this box that says "Excuses", and reads loudly and emotionally, and forces me to shut up and accept it. 
• Why should I waste time, emotions and words for someone who has never succeeded in making me happy?
• I had this problem when I was around 16 or 17 is that I truly did not believe that anyone could see through me, I saw those love photos on flickr, I watched all of those movies, I listened to all of those songs, and they appeared fake to me. It's like they made it up to sell to girls who were emotionally inexperienced like me, when I was 16.
• Then I turn 18 and got this so-called "taste" of having a so-called partner. And then suddenly they made sense. Like, I knew the feelings expressed in those works were real, they didn't write it from a place in their brains that only wanted to sell records or tickets. What a revolution.
• And as I turned 20, this so-called partner of mine has made me despise all of those songs and movies and photos that seemingly made sense. Because no such good things could happen to people. Because they didn't happen to me. I'm just constantly surrounded by reasons and excuses and sighs and scolds that I got to the point where I don't understand what being treated well is like.
• And then it dawned on me. I was treated badly by almost every guy who had this fucking idea of interest in me. Summer flings, phone calls to their girlfriends to make sure that they won't show up before making a word to go have lunch with me (it's a fast-food lunch, dumbass -- not like I asked you to take me to a senior prom or anything), messages on facebook asking how I've been, although they're not that very interested in finding out about me anyways,... Why are you interested in me when all you do is to treat me like some kind of stray cat? I'm not scared of being alone you know. It's so much more liberating than having lines and lines of things to be concerned about, especially if those concerns come from unworthy people.
• I'll just wait til Camellia's finished with her exams and then maybe we'll go somewhere and take nice photos and maybe hang out with people I haven't seen in years and forget about all of this goddamn mess.
• And here are some photos to make my post not look so depressed.

Yoghurt cup #80: frequent blogging yayy

• This is the most frequent I've ever been on the blog. Probably because of the end-of-the-year rush, and this month, and year has been the least posted of all. Thoughts a bit too messy to be put down in words I guess.
• Yesterday I baked the ginger brownies and bought two decorative mini Christmas trees, one in green and one in red. The photos turned out so festive and made so inspired I wanna flee out of the house and buy some lights and start thinking about plans to decorate my room for Christmas.
• Having take the experience from last year, now I'm more calm and prepared before the storm of what is called the Christmas series and the final term season. But, to be fair, last year's Christmas was the first time I did any of the series and I had two horrifying subjects that until now I still don't know how I  magically passed. I remember last year when the final term was finally over, I had to spend an afternoon just letting the fact that there's no longer any stress anymore sink in. Oh well, at least you learned something *shrugs*.

• My faculty, actually, we, have a plan to organize a little Christmas party for all students and teachers. And there's going to be a gift exchanging game, and because I'm so lame and unlucky like that I know for sure that I'm gonna pick a very weird and unusable gift this year. Nevertheless, I'm still hung over on the thought of what to buy as a gift to represent myself. Might as well just buy a really big-ass candle and a white tin case, but if the candle goes to the hands of a guy then boom it's gonna stay somewhere in the house unused, until the mice found out about the good smell and made it a Christmas treat for the clan. Like about a thousand stories about candles as gifts that I've heard from every-friend-of-mine.
• Aah Christmas, the season of inspirations.
• Been listening to Fun's record for 2 days now. I'm pretty glad that I found some worthy music to make me wanna listen to again, cause for all these time I've been putting the Backstreet Boys and Lily Allen on and on it made me sick to the guts.
• (the problem of posting frequently is that you have nothing much to say because, let's face it, how many things can happen in two days actually?)
• When I'm done with the room I'm probably gonna be inspired enough to take a photo of it and put it up here just to save the memory.
• Seriously, I'm out of things to say. So here are more photos of cats.

• Oh, and P.S, I played with a cat without getting allergies yesterday yay me!

Yoghurt cup #79: about turning 20

• Hello earthlings, it's the 20-year-old-and-almost-a-month me speaking. 
• I'm 20 now. No more fooling around doing meaningless things. I'm so old now.
• Oh my God seriously what am I gonna be like when I turn 21, 22, 23, 27, 29, 30? Just thinking about the time and the responsibility and the vague future ahead of me scares me everyday. Most of the time I just feel like I haven't done anything much, just sitting around waiting for chances to come by, not actually get up and go look around.
• And yet I'm 20. Single as ever, long hair (thank goodness for that), one year left in university, not even a makeup lover anymore although now I wear makeups more than ever, wanting to write a letter in my journal but unfortunately I'm not home, I am, with no surprise, at my grandpa's house writing my blog on my stiff bed. I baked brownies on my 20th birthday, there was a ridiculously big storm that day in the city, and I was called by our class servant aka monitor at 4 in the morning to be informed that there would be no class in the morning. And as I peaked my eyes through the window the rain was heavier than ever, and the sky turned into this mysterious purple color that I'd always loved since I was a kid. And, as weird as it might have sounded, it was a good day. There were floods on the streets and the traffic was completely nuts, but I stayed at home, baked brownies and ate them with milk when they were fresh hot. I guess it was my birthday so I could not care about the surroundings for some time.
• As I walked home from the bus stop today I felt more tired, sleepy and hungry than ever. Probably because I only ate a crappy doner kebab in the afternoon and we had two back-to-back tests today in class, one was Linguistics and one was Advanced German, pretty serious stuff. Everytime I start to feel overboard I have this creepy little thought is that when the others can relax and probably go to bed early I have to sit here and finish my work. But, it wasn't a fair thing to say because I procrastinated so much that I couldn't have finished the job very early when I totally could've. Hah! All because of me!

Yes I have to take advantage when the city is getting a bit cold to rock some of the winter pieces of mine!

• Errr we didn't talk today. I kept thinking about that story of a friend of my mom, she divorced her husband because, although after all was set and done they did take some time to give it a shot, the words that were said were too hurtful that neither of them could let go and move on.
• And at the time I heard that story I was too young to understand what power words hold to make people feel so apart. I'd always thought it was something minor, until now.
• I have to admit there was some relief not to be the garbage bin that holds the unreasonable anger and jealousy, actually, it was a big relief because in a day when I return home completely exhausted and a bit ill, my head couldn't take any more of this drama. But for the first time in a while, I felt nothing. It was almost like that point when I was dumped and tried my best to drag myself out of the mess and finally did. It touched the point when I couldn't forgive with feelings anymore. 
• Such a shame isn't it? A waste of time as well. 
• Sorry to come back with such a sad story. 2013 is almost over and the only achievement I've made in this year is not to mess up with my hair at all. But behold, things are about to change because I'm thinking about dyeing my hair ombre.
• I have to go finish my work at go to bed early because honestly I have no strength left so live well, wherever you are.

Also, something that I found very inspiring:

1.     If you like someone, wait.
2.     Give lots of compliments, even if you’re shy. Everyone else is too.
3.     Change. Get a haircut, try new perfume, get new sheets. Become better than you were before.
4.     Eat healthier. Learn to cook something fancy.
5.     Get up earlier and watch the sun come up.
6.     Wear soft clothes, take a bath, drink something warm.
7.     Meet someone new, even just a friend.
8.     Become closer with your friends and your family. Call your mother. Cry with your best friend. Tell everyone how much you appreciate them.
9.     Keep your room clean. Buy some candles. Let the natural light in.
10.     Make a list of reasons why you’ll be better off without them. Believe they are true, because they are.
11.     Listen to new music.
12.     Write everything you’re thinking and feeling. Write letters. Write happy letters, sad letters, and angry letters, even if you’re never going to send them.
13.     It’s okay to be sad, but not forever. Sadness is not as beautiful as music makes it seem. Lack of sleep makes your eyes droopy, not deep. Wake up every morning and tell yourself you’re going to have a good day.
14.     Go to the library. Don’t forget to look in the music section.
15.     Remove them from your life. Get rid of the things they gave you if they make you sad. They’re not worth it. You will never be happy if you continue to hold on to the things that make you sad.
16.     Make new memories.
17.     Try to find something to appreciate in everything you do or experience.
18.     Being alone is okay, you don’t have to surround yourself with people.
19.     Become your own best friend. Buy yourself coffee and drink it alone in a cafe. Take your time.
20.     Learn to love every bit of yourself.

Yoghurt cup #78: things

Well, of course, life is made up by things.

• The new boyfriend blue blouse that I bough from the flea market today that cheers me up so well.
• The bunch of perfume samples that I got for no reason. I don't know why I've been so deeply interested with using perfumes lately. And I have about 10 or more samples so I guess I won't have to even think about buying a full bottle in at least two months.
• The floral dress that (sadly, or gladly) that my mom looks better in than I do.
• Delicious crepes with delicious coconut-flavored ice cream.
• Braiding my hair.
• Getting to use the Chocomania shower gel. Which smells absolutely amazing.
• The Burberry Body perfume which lasts for-ever.
• Tomorrow's payday yay.
• Blue illustrated elephant.

Yoghurt cup #77: long time no see

• It seems like all of my recent (or not very recent) posts have all been posted ridiculously late at night. So here's a post that's (hopefully) posted at noon for a change.
• 8 posts away from reaching 500 posts. And yet half of them are drafts. Sigh.
• School has started, nothing much to say about it except the amount of homework and other work just suddenly landed on my head made me a bit taken aback and, although I'm happily enthusiastic to start a year with only German subjects, it still took me some time to get used to.
• And I don't know whether because my energy has all been spent on schoolwork and other things or because I started to get closer to those who can help me but I've been pushing everyone away. But not everyone everyone, just the everyone whom I've sensed the problems before, but still had the strength and energy to endure. But that everyone was a whole lot of people.

• Long story short, I'm honestly tired of spending time with people who won't understand and who can't find a decent subject to keep a conversation going other than talking about themselves.
• After a bunch of things happening right - in - front - of - my - eyes - and - right - to - my - feelings, I find myself not wanting to have any contact with her for at least two weeks ahead. The fact that they're together all the time, and how they kind of push me away to have more time to spend together, and excuse me I won't dare to interrupt you guys and your holy relationship I just wanna make sure my work gets done, kind of (if not too obviously) gets to my nerves.
• I don't believe in such fast relationships. With the exception of falling in love, which I don't think she's capable of doing because she doesn't have the ability to care about anyone particularly, every other relationship needs time to bloom. Don't wasp into my face those 3-month theory of yours and say to me that oh, she gets me perfectly and because she's a lesbian and is willing to flee to my house everyday to talk and stuff. Honestly I despise those kinds of relationship when they think they know it all when in reality there's no foundation, and I can see the cracks and the vision of them cuddling in my house talking to me about how could it end up like this. I won't welcome you to my door.
• For all of those reasons, I'll say that for the great of good, and for the sake of my uncontrollable mouth, I'll stay away from the "couple" for a while, until I no longer have any hatred towards them, or worse, their presence becomes familiar to my eyes.

• And yet people like that is perfectly accepted in this world. She could say something which I think is completely inappropriate to a friend of hers, and he still worships her and kneels down to her feet, but just imagine me saying something wrong. What a scenario.
• But yeah, everything happens for a reason. I'm the bad person who hates on other people here.
•  
• I don't know why I've been superbly cranky the past couple of days. Maybe because of the work pressure combined with all of the studying in university and the pressure of how on Earth to meet with the request in my English course stress.
• I knew this English learning thing would be a bad idea, I just didn't think how it could crush me this easily. I think my mom believes too much in my ability to magically learn two languages, with the same amount, at the same time, and still manage to look human. I'm not a saint you know, I can't do everything!?!!
• When. Will. This. Be. Overrrrr? If only I could drop one of the balls that I'm juggling with. That would be really nice :((
• Goal for this week: deal with everything without complaining too much (because not complaining at all is quite impossible, you must start somewhere, right?); find myself some me-time; work out a little bit more; try not to spend too much money cause you know, you won't get paid until next week.
• And try not to think about quitting your jobbbbb not now Jennyyyy :((
• I'm just gonna go add some meaningless photos into this post to make it look more appealing and look what time it is now, I said I was gonna post it at noon. And it wasn't even today's noon, it was the noon from 3 or 4 days ago I believe. May I present you, the queen of procrastination.

Yoghurt cup #69: Death

• Growing up is not fun. The worst part is when you stand at one point, thinking that you haven't changed one bit since the time flew, and then you look back at the small but vital details and realize that you've grown into a completely different person it's ridiculous!
• Change is always fascinating to get used to, but, like my relation to the character in Midnight In Paris, the past has a mystery of a girl who is loved by every guy, but will never belong to anybody.
• Food heals, it's true. Well, more precisely, good food heals.
• I've been watching a lot of movies lately, and it's a good thing. French movies make me feel really really good after enjoying, don't know if there's more good French movies to watch hmmm...
• Anyways, short writing. I'm off to be a so-called adult.

random yogurt cup

• Oh well, holiday's officially over, and I'm at a loss for words when thinking about going back to school.
• I haven't had much me-time lately, for the longest time I could remember. Possibly because my job got a hold in me, and all of the leftover time I consumed in tumbling and sleeping and going out eating.
• Which led to the fact that I've gotten chubby. And yet ready to taste every good dishes in this city.
• I've discovered lots and lots of places which has lovely views and magnificent food. And frankly, my definition of magnificent food is that they fry with butter and roast veggies with melted cheese.
• But you can't deny that they're not good!
• I didn't do anything productive in my holidays, spent a load of money on food and makeups, as usual, slept like a bum, watched Japanese anime and idol movies, slept a little more, went out and took photos with flowers in the background to prove that I still had a life, ate some more food and babbled about how boring my life was.
• I'm trying to make my life look a little bit more bright, like positive thinking and bright-colored items around me. I literally have to carry my facial wash and mud mask bottles everywhere I go cause I have to move around a lot lately.
• I'll have to run to school to get the textbooks, and then "travel" down to my campus to attend classes, in the excruciating heat of the all-year-round tropical city. Wish me luck!

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I think I'm gonna give up drinking coffee for a little while, Because honestly tea makes me feel so much better.

I've wanted to write in here for a couple of days now but always found myself at a loss for what to say. Basically I haven't been feeling very well, hating on people for no reason, acting weird and annoying, making myself uncomfortable and all kinds of stuff. It's really disturbing being me.
And after watching Zombieland I want a gun even more badly. Just picture all of the pests I could shoot in the forehead with that machine!

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To think that I'm a day away from having to go back to the ordinary university routine freaks me to death. I would give anything not to go back to where I was so happy I could escape from.

Anyways, today's haul: a(nother) ring, a watch, eye & lip remover, and no Body Shop shower gel sample. Another time maybe :D