Ice cream cone #95: expecting the rain

• So, for the past 2 days, I was feeling like shit. Lots of news hit me almost at once and I didn't have enough time a space and the right person to adjust to. 
• Good thing is that after a terrible half-morning I just had, I'm kind of more calm now that I've basically established the fallback plan for myself, not exactly the ideal plan that I was hoping, but still, it's new and will release some of the unnecessary energy in my body, which is always a good thing.
• I'm feeling very positive at the moment, surprisingly actually, since I just had a shit night last night kind of rolling around crying about how stupid I am in emotional stuff, and woke up this morning, still feeling a bit like shit.
• The times when you're down, I swear, feels like the longest time on earth. Reminds me of last summer, when I was constantly feeling like shit over so many small things and couldn't find a way to get myself out of it. I guess last summer I didn't even know how to deal with so many negative feelings that I let myself sink in. Such a terrible time. I was not one bit proud of how I was, that's why when last night happened, the only thing I feared was that, is this going to last all summer? I've got one mere week before summer school starts, and believe it or not, the free time that I've had feels enough. Although the idea of going back to school sitting with a bunch of college friends and faking that my summer went great isn't so ideal, it's still better than sitting at home and getting bored to the point where you're paranoid about every single relationship that you have.
• I signed up for gym (again) today. It was so enough when the fourth guy told me that I've gained weight. Thanks for the friendly reminder guys -_-. Isn't it weird how getting into a serious weight-loss program hasn't been something that I've accomplished doing for the past two years, so weight gain wasn't anything surprising. But not anymore. Of course the main reason that I was so determined to do this is to get my head out of bullshit, but still it's one hell of a plan.
• I've been listening to a lot of Sam Smith at the moment. Although it was suggested by him, who's the last person that I'm supposed to take suggestions right now, but music is never a sin, and his album is one of the really good ones that I've listened to in a while, and I'm really really in need of some good summer music. It feels like discovering Daniel Merriweather all over again.
• I'm fearful of the day when I'm gonna get bored of this album, because I've been putting it on repeat for the past week, like, everyday every time. Ughh gonna have to go for another hunt for good music, not happy -_-.
•  
• Sitting at the perfect view in Pacey expecting the rain that doesn't seem to arrive any time soon -_-. Why rain? Are you just gonna wait until I step out on the street to pour down? Today is one of the very rare days that I'm actually expecting the rain instead of cursing at karma and moaning over my wet boots, and there's this chance that there's not gonna be any raining.
• WHY HASN'T IT RAINED?? It's almost 2pm already! I have a perfect view to observe the world when it rains, and it's windy already, I can see the leaves falling and the trees shaking, so pleeeease rain!
• I'm gonna cut to a short blog this time, since the past few were unnecessarily long, gonna get back to work, which was the original intention when I sat here. Have a great week folks!