Yoghurt cup #53

• Yesterday something happened that questioned me about everything this 'relationship' was built on.
• So here it goes. This is not gonna be a happy yogurt cup. I think i'm gonna have to go private after this, but it still depends on how the words are gonna come out.
• I went out with Shire yesterday at a bistro called Pat' a Chou. Beautiful sight, festive decorations, delicious food. We took many amazing photos and i was utterly & blissfully happy. See photos above or check them out on my facebook. End of part one.
• I got home and mom & I had a real mother-daughter talk, one that i've never experienced before. Basically she told me about how the two guys at the real estate company was interested when they heard that my parents have a daughter who's a freshman in college. Wait til they actually meet me. End of part two.
• I switched shoes with 2.5 yesterday as well. I had one of his Converse and he had one of mine.
• After a few 'oh Jenny did you take another one's shoe by mistake???' mom told me maybe we're moving too fast. As friends. I remember the feeling when I heard she said that. I told myself, she doesn't know him like I do, and we're just friends, doing crazy normal stuff. I don't think much about it, neither does he, so what the hell.
• Because the photos turned out so beautifully I at least showed them to three people last night, including him. Among the photos I took there were a couple where you could see Shire's face. And he asked me if I could introduce him to her.
• This is where the problem starts. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm starting to like him, the serious way. And no matter how many times I remind myself 'we're just friends, we're just friends', I know by guts how badly I want him to like me as well. When I used my head to picture such a vision of us being a couple, I don't see a long-term commitment. That was my biggest shield from letting myself to like him. Other barriers are just the hardship to admit some of his characters if we were dating and how easily I could accept them when we're just friends, how I felt that he wasn't practically right for me, although so far, he's the most amazing guy who's ever appeared into my life.
• He's treating me like his girlfriend, or at least I feel like he does, making me feel special and stuff. Other times he'd just take a fight with me, simple fun fight, those moments i truly felt like a fucking 'dude' in his eyes. Like yesterday, after I told him about the two real estate guys and he told me he wanted to meet Shire, I went to sleep simply saying to him 'I'm going to bed', thinking how unloved I truly am in this world, reading Penny's note 'screw the world i love you honey', realizing how many things i need to set up in this friendship (oh so now we're gonna call it friendship, not relationship, relationship sounds fucking creepy), he called. When I picked up, he hung up right away. I texted him, 'Crazy or something?'
• He texted back 'Uhm, ilu'.
• Please stop. I'm not that experienced when it comes to reading signals, so please stop sending me sms like these.
• How much i actually wake up today and appreciate my mom's words.
• Ahh i need to keep a cat. Cats won't send me mixed signals.
• Long time no update. My life's been a bit messed up as you can see.