- So basically in the last post I just summed up a few events that was happening to me then. Now I'm gonna sum up what's been happening to me in a more recent timeline.
- Remember that guy that I was flirting with? Well, he made his pick, and decided to go after a girl who was unbelievable, in terms of character, appearance and morality. Lol way to go. I backed out the very moment I heard he was going after some other girl, not needing to know who it was. If there's one lesson I've learned after my 2 and a half year relationship, it is going to be, never let your emotions get the best of you. After I heard who he was after, I was like, screw him, I'm waaaaaay better than that. Bitch mode: on.
- Right in the days when I'm, nevertheless, still a bit gutted about the above news, that summer fling kid decided that it was a good time to check on me on facebook. You have to understand the situation is that, after the breakup I changed a lot, in terms of thinking with more sense, protecting my feelings from guys and indulging myself. So when I approach the guy in university, and probably when I approached a few guys before him, I was in a safe position where I could see everything clearly, and could back out whenever I felt like it wasn't fun anymore (which is now, how impeccable). That made me think, oh gooooood, I'm evolving, I'm partially immune from guys now, it's a good sign.
- And then he started talking to me, saying that he'll be back this June and wants to hang out and shit. And clear as crystal do I know what will actually happen in those hangout dates. But the problem is, I knew him when my mind wasn't immune, so all of the protections that I have on right now kind of doesn't work on this guy.
- I've been trying to think of terrible sad things that I will have to endure if I let this go too far, so that I won't get too excited and lose control and do shit that I'll regret the entire summer. One emotionally damaged summer is so enough. He knows how to get me though, being all caring and soft, and to be honest, in my darkest moments this year, when I felt more alone than ever, my mind still wandered around the thought whether he would come back at all, and if he did, would he call me up again, cause I thought it was something like a sign that confirmed that he really liked me or something. And then it did happen, and I felt more like shit than ever now that I have to recall all of the shitty feelings that I had to deal with last time when he was gone. So if I can hope for anything right now, I'll only hope for strength, and clarity in vision, so that I won't stupidly hurt myself again and buy 3123 pieces of makeup in hopes of healing.
- So yeah, my summer has started its own routine without me being able to control it. Wish me luck on this hailstorm full of weirdos guys, I'm gonna need it.
- Another thing, head over to my photography blog to observe my trip to escape the heat of the city through a bunch of tacky photos. Thanks so muchhhhh *hearts fly*
Photo source: Tumblr
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