Fletcher's birthday.

Today's Tom Fletcher's birthday.

I went to tumblr, as usual and it was flooded with messages & photos & shout-outs & songs. I think this is the biggest celebrity birthday i've ever attended. The funny part is that, while on tumblr people are getting hysterical about this so-called McFly national holiday, my real world is silence. None of my friends are online in my messenger list, mom went out, left me in charge with lunch, which i absolutely hate, my neighbor isn't up yet. Just me & the laptop.

What makes me feel good about today isn't mostly because it's Tom's birthday, it's because for the first time, i'm actually a part of something big, something fun. I think when Tom wakes up the next morning he'll be drowned in flowers & gifts from Danny, Harry, Dougie & Gio he will just have a quick glance at tumblr or twitter, have a great smile & start his day. I don't blame him for not realizing how hard the McFans had to try to keep "FletcherBDay" on trending. Celebrities never fully realize how affective they could be. He'll probably never remember the names of each and everyone who contributed into this international birthday party. But that's ok.

Because the fans are the fans. I remember a couple years ago when i was sitting by myself in Jesse McCartney's birthday playing with his posters singing happy birthday to a guy who don't even know the country i live. And i felt hopeless. But now looking back at it, i think it's a part of the character-building chain. And although i don't think i've been fully built-up, days like that, when i was a junior high loser sitting with a bunch of black & white poster, made me a good person, or at least calmed the cruel part of me for a split of second.

The best part of this day is, picturing 10 years from now, all the McGirls are 25 26 years old, having a job, a husband, a baby. Some will be doctors, some will be teachers, some will design advertisements for shitty products, some will be filthy rich, some will be happy with their a-little-low-but-enough-for-a-living salary. And in one second of life, they will remember having a party for someone who used to be their biggest inspiration, someone who stole their heart, someone whose reply on twitter made them cry like a 5-year-old, and smile. They'll recall their teenage years, sitting before the computer with a bunch of friends whose faces they don't even know, enjoying the atmosphere of the most beautiful years of their life.

Not until now do i realize the role of an idol in one's life.

I'll definitely delete this post.