Belief. Unfinished.

If someone asks me "what do you believe in?", i would answer without any hesitation "i believe in New York City". You may question how i can believe in a city, especially not the city from my country, but first, you don't have the right to judge other's belief, and second, i have my reasons.

The bizarre belief was the result of watching too many movies on HBO and Star Movies. Mostly Gossip Girl, The Devil Wears Prada, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist and Little Manhattan. Each movies bring me another side of the Big Apple, all beautiful and magical. In a grief time like this, i am ready to believe in the magical things i used to take for granted. I can name some of New Yorks famous spots, i can close my eyes imagining what it would be like if i was there, if i could touch my feet to the cold sidewalk of the shiny avenue. And every time a movie comes up with a familiar scene, i usually cry in joy: "That's New York! All the best movies are shot in New York!".

Mom's been to NYC, and she told me she was mostly overwhelmed and a little bit dizzy because of all the skycrapers. I envy her for being able to experience that feeling. I've never watched Breakfast At Tiffany's, but i'm sure i will. Audrey Hepburn portrayed the girl whom every girl finds herself in common. Girls believe in glamour, and how they lighten up our lives by the sparkles that sweetly dazzle the eyes when the sunlight visits. I have an imaginary character who lives in the most beautiful penthouse in New York, with the view to the city. And everyday, surrounded by the darkness of the room, she walks to the wide window, admiring the painting made by thousands of lightning bulbs.

Mom told me while we were watching Little Manhattan, there are lots of small parks like that. Me and your aunt used to snug in one and ate orange in there. I remember in one of my fictional stories i wrote i sent the two characters in a park like that once. That's probably one of the best things about New York, hidden behind the crapers' shadows lived a small world of wild flowers, of a carefully made stool, of a little romance in the "everything's possible" city. In movies, they always live in houses with elevator guards who open the door & press the button for them. The scene is always shot in the yellow tone of varnished walls, and there's always something about that person that makes the trademark of the old buildings. And in movies, there is always a scene of the girl catching a ridiculously numerous number of yellow cabs on the street. Only New York City movies. If you don't believe me, watch it yourself.

I sometimes think it's me in double. I get tired of the world i live in, i travel to another world and get lost in it. But New York in my imagination is too amazing to give up. It's the city where anything can happen, the city that never sleeps. There's magic above the chaos of work, above the coffee smell that haunts every person. If i ever get a chance to go to New York, and i'm sure i will, somehow, i will slowly walk on the street, sniff the smell of the favorite city, hands in my pocket ...

i'm sorry i can't picture myself having fun & enjoying life right now. That's why this post doesn't get the way i want. Here's a collection of photos that i love, go check it out.