Yoghurt cup #76: The things that have happened that fucked up my mind constantly

• God knows how many things have happened in my trip. Just being around my sister in her 90 last glorious days before she gets married kind of changed everything.
• I'm gonna have to say the breakup incident has taken me to an unexpected journey that lasts through the entire summer. I would write all of them in a book or grab someone interested to tell them about all the things that have happened but I wouldn't know how to end such a story like that.
• Haha I was going to talk about how he appeared on my Facebook feed with my boss, and then someone commented "why don't you guys date already?" and then the ugliest and most shameful thought just grew out of my head, but apparently there have been a lot of he's to talk about in my summer, he's just gonna be one of them.
• It's all bad timing. The Lord really knows how to give people the opportunity to learn new things.
• Wild thoughs moment: this is all preparation, because I didn't have any experience last time, but I guess I'll still stay like this even though I've been through years of experience. If magically somehow it works, it won't last for long. Something's gonna go wrong, and this time, I won't have anyone to run back to like last time. 
• And I'll lose a friend who means so much to me, in a much more painful way.
• He always has his ways of making me feel like I'm accepted no matter what. No matter what I dress, what I say, all of the crazy things I did and all of the breakdowns I've been through, I can tell he still sees me as the same person. And I really don't know to express how thankful I am just knowing someone like that is still somewhere in this world. Makes me believe at the end of the day, when I'm laying my head rest and all of the ugly things in the world come dancing on my chest, I can just tell myself, oh, it's ok, I'll just tell him about it sometimes and he'll understand.
• Not necessarily that I have to tell him about every-single-incident that have happened in my life, although up until now I kind of have been, because it would be a selfish thing to do. He can just take a glance at my simple life and know where my problem is, whereas I'm drowned in his personal life although I'm just still standing on the outside looking in.
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• He's leaving tomorrow. Everything that has happened around him has been somewhat the most unexpected and spontaneous and everyone would be pointing their finger at me laughing at my stupidity for actually falling for someone like that.
• If I wrote a novel about the three guys who took my summer to a journey, he would be the least to write about. Instead, the storyline would go as how I've been living without him, and how I fight the thoughts of people keep telling me that he actually has feelings for me.
• I think I learned from the experiences that happen around the dates that I have with him rather than the dates themselves. It would be random stories of doing normal things throughout the day and then something hits me and I realize it reminds me of him, and I convince myself it's ridiculous to even think about it and then carry on.
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• Third one was actually the key point. It was the cause of all of this. Up until now, all I have in mind when I think about him was worry. But I can't set my foot too deep anymore because one, I don't have the right anyways, and two, if I set one foot in, I'll just get myself attached to something that I know won't go anywhere.
• I sincerely hope he's ok, I can find my way out of that maze in my quest for the summer journey, but now that I don't know about his journey anymore, I'm not sure how he copes.
• I'm out of things to write about this. Maybe another time then.