Yoghurt cup #55

• Life's not fair. Get used to it.
• Whoever says that looks can't conquer them all is simply ugly and trying to be a forgiving person.
• And whoever dares to say looks aren't important is naturally beautiful.
• GODDAMNITMOTHERFUCKERFUCKTHISWORLDFUCKYOUTOHELLFACEBOOK!!!!!!
• Aaaah don't you just miss Jennifer's daily dose of tantrum?
• People don't care about your personality if you don't have a breathtakingly beautiful face and naturally hot body with dreamer's curves.
• It's true. It's like, if you happen to own an awesome set of character, for instance, you have a great taste in movies, like one of my friends in class, he watches the entire Batman franchise, listens to metal, is a fan of Heath Ledger and all, but doesn't quite strike people as someone who has a normal taste in clothes and is not good-looking, other people, like those girls in my class, considers him to be some kind of a weird nerd. Whereas when I hang out with him, I got him into talking about Christopher Nolan and frankly, he was pretty awesome.
• But admit it, I'll admit it myself, I'd always prefer to hang out with Tyler and Alex, simply because they're handsome as hell. And for all these times, I don't care much about how my friends look because all of my friends are either polished or smoking sexy.
• When it's about my taste of people, it's fine, but when I'm playing the ugly role, it sucks.
• But then again, food heals everything.
• I'm not gonna pick up the phone and call him tonight. See? As I type that down, my firm will is starting to tumble. Ughhhh be strong Jenny! Be strong!
• And I'm getting sick. It's about time. Apparently I get sick every single time I take a nap. Well, obviously, me and napping aren't going anywhere in this relationship. And somehow I just wanna pick up the phone and call him and tell him all about this bull crap.
• But no you're not! He's not interested! He's not interested! He's not interested!
• I took a couple of food photos earlier today. Maybe I'll go edit them just to keep my mind off of the urge to pick up the phone and do something stupid.
• Like, please, he talked to me yesterday like he was pushed to, only being extremely polite with me and endured my shitty stories for half an hour.
• And when I asked him frankly this morning 'are my calls disturbing you?', he answered 'no, yes'.
• KEEP THAT IN MIND EVERY TIME YOU HIT THE CALL BUTTON JENNY!
• I'm gonna go edit the photos right now.
• I had a terrifying dream last night. So terrifying that when I woke up, I spent five minutes just breathing and thanking every possible thing in this world it's just a dream.
• I'm thinking of buying a letter clutch.
• That's all I could think of at the moment to stop myself from calling him. It's not gonna be that hard Jen. You're just making things more complicated than it really is. Just breath and do productive stuff like actually studying Dialectical Materialism.
• As if. Ugh. What a heading.
• Alex texted me last night with the probably cutest message I'd ever received from him ( and yes, almost all of the messages are like 'can I borrow your Psychology book' or 'where are you why aren't you in class' -.- ), saying 'Jen I wanna hang out with you so bad!', made me feel almost as good as when Ty texted his casually cute messages before everything happened.
• And yeah after the mental boost I tried to give myself yesterday I still found a way to call him. I pretended not to know that Haley stole my phone and got his number and called. I've lost it. Completely.
• I don't like having casual plans for the weekend. Like, studying from Monday to Saturday morning, meeting your girlfriend on Sunday, go out with her somewhere and stuff. I'd much prefer to have one weekend filled with going-out dates with friends whom I haven't seen in a long while but still find them unexpectedly easy to catch up, another just lying in bed thinking about personal stuff and doing German homework. I hate having casualties and I avoid my mind from shaping the acquaintance of casualties. Because I hate the feeling when suddenly, casualties change, and you have a hard time figuring out what you're gonna do in that supposed time. You feel the unnecessary loss the whole day, wasting a perfect weekend (imho all weekend days are polished perfect, except for last weekend) staying at home scratching your butt feeling uncomfortable.
• I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm extremely lazy I don't even wanna commit to anything, even weekend plans lol
• Laying in bed, sneezing, listening to acoustic songs, hugging the hugest and softest teddy bear doing German homework feeling weirdly good. I don't need a guy in my life.
• Still haven't bought the blazer.
• As much as I fucking hate facebook and the shallowness that it brings out in people, I must admit the timeline mode looks pretty awesome.