spit mcgee

My life always seems like it's buried in crisis.

First of all, the utmost and most worried-about crisis is that, for the love of God, i haven't had a boyfriend. I still cannot believe i care about all this stuff right now as a senior, but study is desperate, and people around seem to be smirking at me with the attitude, what's wrong with you.

I think good looking guys are even stupider than the not very good looking ones. And that's really upsetting.

The reason why did i bring up this forever topic? The guy in my math tutor class was ... fine looking (you know a guy who looks clean, smart but not exactly the hot type?). And he was completely ignoring me.

I understand my problems. But, anyone out there, if you could meet me, you will see that i'm not the type who is deeply ugly that you can't look at very long. I am, but not that bad, aren't i?

I need to push up self-actualization.

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I forever will never enjoy eating a tomato. Here's the process of myself eating a tenth of a tomato.

1. After dunking the piece in sauce, i inhaled and put the darn thing in my mouth and chewed it.
2. Felt the soft and disgusting taste, as a tomato should taste like, in my mouth and started feeling nauseous.
3. Chewed the thing with unwilling attitude, felt more and more nauseous.
4. Tried to swallow it but thought about how much the stomach was going to work, i kept on chewing.
5. When i couldn't take the taste anymore, i took all of what i had left to swallow the pile of careless chewing down my throat. I could feel the tomato, big and hard, going to my stomach.
6. Exhaled.

If the process includes tears caused by nausea, it's normal.

There are three things that i'm not good at: guys, Math and eating tomato.

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We had a debate in class today, each group picks a subject of follow the (bullshit-ish and boring) subjects the teacher gave.

Well something happened.

It made me think maybe i've been holding the grudge for too long and maybe it's time to let go, just to find some more peace of mind.

Or maybe i'm just being fooled. Maybe it's another trick, i've been putting up barriers and that's what has been keeping me safe all these time. Annoying, yes, but that's the price you'll have to pay.

See? Crisis.

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It's almost Christmas, exactly 25 days to my favorite holiday of the year. I thought about doing a countdown to Christmastime but then again, i may never do anything special when the countdown clock strikes 00:00:00. Maybe that's why guys dislike me, they would like someone who follows the countdown clock and has special plans when the clock ends. I never plan, not until it's an hour before, i think.

And guys like girls with specific plans.

I can't even think of a birthday present for Penelope better than the Inception DVD. How could i come up with the masterplan of birthday present for my imaginary boyfriend?

I hate those who don't use lip gloss, chapstick or any lip products. Makes it a thousand times harder to find a birthday present!