Photos taken on some of my go-out dates recently. When the city wasn't wounded.
.
.
.
It's sunny again today. What a city. No matter what she's been put through, the next day, she still manages to cover itself in sun rays like she's trying to say, now now, everything's fine now.
I can't stay anywhere else other than here. Although there were numerous times when I desperately wanted to move to the seaside and stay for a month or two, I always came crawling back "fix und fertig" as the German usually said to love this city again.
Cold days like this reminds me of the early summertime, which got me thinking, why does it always feel like all of the good things that I thought happened to my life, I always assumed they happened in the summer? Summertime on a morning after the nighttime rain, listening to acoustic music, dreaming of a visible object, like a camera that I now own, staying alone in my room staring at the bookshelf on the wall picturing what it would be like in university. Oh sigh at how much has happened since that thought, since I used to play these songs.
I started this thing in my journal under another depression about a year ago when I was in senior year, the reason why I had depression, I had no idea. It seems like I always feel unhappy, although like Tyler straightly commented on my life, there's nothing to be unhappy about. But that thing was that I would picture myself a year from then, in order to find an escape from reality, which probably was I was under a bunch of pressure about studying and the university entrance exams and stuff. I only got to two days of that little project, then as boredom kicked in, I got back to writing bullcrap about how I was mistreated on everything which actually now looking back, I wasn't. I really wish my stupid bullcrap wouldn't have jumped on my face and I could continue to write for a few more days. In those short entries I wrote, I pictured myself knowing a headful of German words, which is by far quite true, being an exhausted but blissfully gay and carefree little freshman who would come home in a good mood everyday after school. Haha, but I must've forgotten to picture the people that I met in university. It was them who changed the picture.
I've wanted to continue that project, but the timing last year was absolutely impeccable because I acknowledged very well how in the mere two years my life would alter completely. Now it's not even a good time anymore.
This has gone a bit longer than a "short thoughts" tagged post I usually do, so I'm gonna stop babbling about things now.
Have a nice week :)
